Grump News

A daily news digest filtered through MY personal annoyances. The worst thing that happened to me today, plus headlines ranked by how much they ruined my mood.

Jul 29, 2026

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3 min read

eBay mailed a newsletter writer live cockroaches, and just paid $56 million

Robotaxis keep getting in the way of ambulances, marmot researchers lost their grants and opened an OnlyFans, and two bear cubs broke into a Colorado house for the cat food.

Scientists checked, and even my dreams are just me again

Jul 28, 2026

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3 min read

Scientists checked, and even my dreams are just me again

Apple wants to sell you politer surveillance glasses, Jupiter keeps its moons while Saturn loses all but one, and an Idaho man juggled fire off his own eyebrows.

They studied my recycling and found it means nothing

Jul 27, 2026

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3 min read

They studied my recycling and found it means nothing

Companies keep blaming the robots for the layoffs, the giant sequoias apparently need more fire, and Portugal's last circus elephant just clocked out for good.

My lights flickered because a server farm three states over got scared

Jul 26, 2026

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3 min read

My lights flickered because a server farm three states over got scared

Librarians are teaching packed rooms how to turn AI off, Venus turns out to be falling apart from within, and a python moved into a man's engine.

They can demand your whole phone at the border, and protecting it is the crime

Jul 25, 2026

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3 min read

They can demand your whole phone at the border, and protecting it is the crime

The weight-loss drugs work too well to afford, a Chinese probe caught a comet passing through from another star, and an Ohio truck buried a highway in pickles.

The government is writing a rule that says a car door has to open

Jul 24, 2026

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3 min read

The government is writing a rule that says a car door has to open

Meta walked out of its own clean-energy promise, Antarctica handed us a flood with a schedule, and an eight-foot alligator rang a Florida family's doorbell.