Grump News

A daily news digest filtered through MY personal annoyances. The worst thing that happened to me today, plus headlines ranked by how much they ruined my mood.

It takes the minutes and scores me in the morning

Sep 10, 2026

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4 min read

It takes the minutes and scores me in the morning

Massachusetts told data centers to bring their own clean power or pay into everyone else's bill, semaglutide turned out to cut asthma attacks by nearly forty percent, sticky tape proved somebody hauled 55,000 pound stones eleven miles across Yorkshire four thousand years ago, and the American cheetah has been unmasked as a salmon eating puma.

Sep 9, 2026

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4 min read

He set his own fee and collected first

A twenty meter dinosaur turned up eight meters under a Brazilian construction site, physicists dropped half an atom to see what gravity did to it, a zebrafish turns out to regrow its spinal cord by telling its own immune system to calm down, and Turin airport found a crocodile head wrapped in ordinary wrapping paper.

Sep 8, 2026

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4 min read

Thirty four days, and now a runtime

Indonesia's peat fires are burning underground a month into the season, an AI now catches fusion plasma instabilities two tenths of a second before they arrive, a two year trial found that thirty eight group meetings beat being handed advice, and a terrier spent two days lost in a badger warren.

Sep 5, 2026

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3 min read

Fifty cents a bottle, eight years of it

Scientists overturned the leading theory for why bonnethead sharks have differently shaped heads, a deer wandered into a Florida home and jumped in the family pool twice before escaping, and a mustang loose near a Maryland reservoir for two months was finally captured using 59 fence panels.

Ninety nine point one percent, read from inside a hospital

Sep 4, 2026

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4 min read

Ninety nine point one percent, read from inside a hospital

New Mexico's largest reservoir dropped to its lowest level since 1971 after a record-early snowmelt and a drought that would not quit, astronomers found Saturn has grown a second geometric weather pattern circling its south pole, and a kitten survived a 76-mile drive stowed away inside a car's engine compartment.

Sep 3, 2026

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3 min read

I have let go of considerably less

Uber is laying off 3,300 people to help fund its robotaxi push, geologists tracking over a decade of GPS data found Africa is slowly being pulled apart by a rising plume of mantle rock, and a Montana woman fought off a charging moose with a can of bear spray to protect her aging, deaf, and nearly blind dog.